So, we had gone to see The Dark Knight the night before his birthday, because he wanted to see that movie quite badly (awesome movie, btw. You should go see it!) And when we got back from that, we just sort of chilled around for a bit before going to bed around 1:30. So, there wasn’t much sleeping involved.

There was a lot of cock-sucking and fucking involved, until we decided to get some sleep. Of course, a couple hours later, B wakes up, rolls over and starts kissing me. Of course, after a bit it wakes me up, but I’m still half asleep. So, of course, one thing leads to another and I’m playing with his cock — then he says, “Mmm. Suck me.”
I’m still half asleep, but of course I’m going to comply so I move downwards and put his cock in my mouth, taking it as far back into my throat as I can. (PS. thanks to anonymous_sub, your tip for that actually helped. Changing my positioning really helped curb the gag reflex a bit more!)
And after I’ve sucked on him for a while, he proceeds to tells me, “… I want you on top of me, now.” At this point, I’m a little more awake, but it’s not like I’m going to argue with him. ( One – I never would when he asks something. Two – It’s sex. I don’t think I’ve turned down sex at all, in my life, ever.)
So it was a very fun morning, followed by sleep, then a morning shower (… which getting “clean” wasn’t exactly the main priority. I’ve been finding we’ve been fucking in the shower and bathroom a hell of a lot more lately, but I’m certainly not complaining).
The afternoon was a bit more toned down, we had lunch with his parents, walked home in the rain, I cleaned like crazy and then because it was so hot and humid that day, we had another shower. (I’m sure you can guess what happened there. Haha!) Then I baked him a cake, which didn’t even turn out horrible! : )
And last night was just entirely fun. I dressed up in one of my mini-skirts that he likes so much (… and added fishnet stockings, of course!) for the rest of the night. And I’m sure you can guess what that lead to as well! So by the time we both decided to get some sleep, we were pretty exhausted, but all in all it was a good day. : ) I wished I could have done something more for him for his birthday, but he said that what I did was just awesome, and he was really happy with it.

And then today, the tone from yesterday seemed to carry over, which was entirely fun. I may as well just add it in this post. After I spent most of the morning sleeping and lazing around, I finally got out of bed, and was informed by B that I should take a shower with him. (Shower’s are always fun). After the lovely getting clean, dirty, then clean again… I expected that we were just going to go get dressed and then head over to Sobey’s to pick up stuff for supper, but he informs me, “I’m not done with you yet.” before I could get dressed, and we end up on the bed.

I must say I’m a fan of asphyxiation. (Yes, I know… sometimes that’s dangerous. But my master is well aware of what he’s doing, and takes a lot of precaution. I trust him completely. That’s what I like about it the most, that I trust him essentially with my life.) So right in the middle of sex, he brings his hand up to my neck, and holds on cutting off my air.

“Tell me, slave. How does it feel knowing I could kill you right now?”
I can’t really answer because my air’s being cut off, which he knew before he even asked.
“I could kill you. It wouldn’t be too hard. Go ahead, fight back. If you don’t, then you’re toast. I’m not letting go.”

We both know he’s not going to actually kill me, but there’s still a bit of a thrill involved in the “… what if, maybes” sort of thing. He likes it when I try to fight back, even though we both know as soon as I’m out he’s going to let go and allow me to resume breathing normally. It’s entirely amusing.

So sorry for the delay in postings. I’ve landed myself a new job working at The Bay. (Yay Jewelery counter!) So that eats a bit of my time. I’ll try to post more often for anyone who reads!

Anyway, I had a lovely experience last night / early this morning. (Non sexual, for once. Haha, crazy eh?) But I guess I was having some sort of nightmare. Not entirely one of those really horrible ones (because apparently I start shaking, moving around, and breathing really heavily in my sleep when I’m having a really horrible nightmares, and B usually wakes me up from it), but enough to make me a little uneasy upon waking up. Of course, it’s probably only like 5 in the morning when I wake up from it. And I don’t entirely remember what it was about, but all I can recall is that it has something to do with an explosion. Anyhow, within like seconds of me waking up, and starting to feel uneasy, B rolls over and wraps his arm around me, pulling me right in close to him. Hell, he was half asleep, and probably didn’t even realize I’d just had a nightmare, but it was still nice.

I felt… protected and safe. Which I think is really good. I mean, I basically submit and will do whatever it is that he asks of me, whenever it is that he asks, and in return… I know he’s looking out for me, and protecting me sort of thing. Which is good, because I know that some relationships with the D/S element in them end up with just the submissive giving up everything and the dominant just being selfish, instead of looking out for the best interests of their sub, but still expecting their orders to be followed.

It was nice, I must say.

So, has anyone else experienced such a thing? Leave a comment!

Although yesterday was exceptionally lovely.
I was sitting on the couch as I usually am, just mindlessly surfing the internet (reading wordpress blogs, you know the deal). And he comes up behind me, ordering that I move the laptop and stand by the arm of the couch. Of course, I comply with what he asks of me without really questioning his motives. He then proceeds to turn me around, bend me over the arm of the couch, and takes me right there. Just out of the blue he decides he’s going to bend me over and fuck me. Ahh, I love it when he gets like this.

On another note… I miss my collar. A while back he bought one for me, but I always took it off whenever we went to his parents or something like that. Then it eventually got lost because well… this apartment is a black hole. It wasn’t an expensive collar or anything, actually… it was one he bought at a pet store. But it didn’t matter to me, what mattered was what it symbolized. That I am his property. He owns me. I belong to him.

I am going to have to clean everything up in the apartment so that I am able to find it again, I miss it.

Ever hear of the website OkCupid? Yeah, I hated it too. Up until it brought me into contact with my current boyfriend, and master. I felt such a bond with him, something I’ve never felt with anyone before. I felt head over heels in love, something that I never thought would have been possible for me, and I wanted more than anything for him to own me, for me to be his slave, his sub.
I ended up moving over two hundred miles to be with him, leaving me where I am now. For a while, I had let my depression and general insecurities get in the way of completely submitting to him.

But I guess that’s enough of that. I’ve mended what I needed to, and am now just working on finding a balance between this and my place in the vanilla world.

Anyway, onward with the entry.

I’ve been finding myself to be incredibly horny almost all of the time lately. I’m sure that it’s got something to do with B (the boyfriend/master), randomly coming up to me without much warning and putting a pocket knife to my throat and proceeded to make out with me, holding it there. I’m not sure why, but that really turns me on. Half the time I want to just strip down and ask him to take me right there, but of course — doesn’t always happen that way considering someone has to work and pay bills around here (… since for some reason I am having the worst time ever finding work).

Last night was probably one of the best nights sex-wise in quite some time. I’m used to orgasm denial during foreplay when he’s playing with me, but never actually during the act itself. He’d keep pounding into me until I was just about to cum, and then would stop and look down at me with a devious smile on his face. He’d then continue again, only to stop once more when I would get incredibly close. It brought me to the point where I was begging, and begging for him to let me cum. (Of course, this is usually his plan anyway, to get me to beg. ) Once he actually let me, it was one of the strongest orgasms that I’ve had in a while. I’m incredible vocal as it is, (and in all honesty, I try my hardest not to be. I try not to make hardly any noise at all, but most of the time I can’t even help it), but last night I probably woke up everyone in the bloody apartment building. Oops.

On a random note: I hate having such a strong gag reflex! It’s been forever that I’ve been trying to suck my master’s cock more often, to tone down the reflex, but I’m really not making a lot of progress. Anyone know how this could be made easier? Please leave a comment and let me know, it would be extremely appreciated!

I’ve decided to start this blog off with a little bit of an introductory posting so that you can get a bit of an idea of who I am and why I’m writing this blog.

Firstly, I would like to introduce myself. The name is Autumn, and it is nice to meet you. Of course, “Autumn” is just an alias to cover up my real name so that those who know me in the real world will be unable to google my name to find this. I wish to remain anonymous, and I will soon explain why.

I created this blog for two reasons. 1) I love to write. I love journals. I love to get my thoughts out in a manner that other people might enjoy reading. 2) I have a side of me that I need to express. Which is why I am using an alias name. This isn’t entirely something I talk freely about in my day-to-day life, so I figured writing it on the internet for like-minded people to read.

So here you have it. I’m writing about my experiences with the world of dominance and submission. It’s always been an intriguing topic for me, from as early as the beginning of my teen years. Now eighteen (soon to be nineteen, but I still feel rather young in this lifestyle), I’ve finally met someone who shared my intrigue in the lifestyle — and helped me realize exactly what I am — a submissive.

The reasoning behind remaining anonymous is that in my social circle, this sort of thing is a taboo topic. Forbidden, a cause for shame. I would not be accepted fully the way I am now, if I were to be talking freely about this to those around me.

And that’s basically what this is. An outlet. A place for me to go and be able to talk about things freely, without fear of rejection, and hopefully have others read (and maybe even leave me comments =] )as well.