I know what’s been wrong. I know why I don’t feel close to you anymore. I need to submit to you, again. I’m sorry I lost my way, but I need that again. I need that bond. I need you to have control over me again.
Ever hear of the website OkCupid? Yeah, I hated it too. Up until it brought me into contact with my current boyfriend, and master. I felt such a bond with him, something I’ve never felt with anyone before. I felt head over heels in love, something that I never thought would have been possible for me, and I wanted more than anything for him to own me, for me to be his slave, his sub.
I ended up moving over two hundred miles to be with him, leaving me where I am now. For a while, I had let my depression and general insecurities get in the way of completely submitting to him.
But I guess that’s enough of that. I’ve mended what I needed to, and am now just working on finding a balance between this and my place in the vanilla world.
Anyway, onward with the entry.
I’ve been finding myself to be incredibly horny almost all of the time lately. I’m sure that it’s got something to do with B (the boyfriend/master), randomly coming up to me without much warning and putting a pocket knife to my throat and proceeded to make out with me, holding it there. I’m not sure why, but that really turns me on. Half the time I want to just strip down and ask him to take me right there, but of course — doesn’t always happen that way considering someone has to work and pay bills around here (… since for some reason I am having the worst time ever finding work).
Last night was probably one of the best nights sex-wise in quite some time. I’m used to orgasm denial during foreplay when he’s playing with me, but never actually during the act itself. He’d keep pounding into me until I was just about to cum, and then would stop and look down at me with a devious smile on his face. He’d then continue again, only to stop once more when I would get incredibly close. It brought me to the point where I was begging, and begging for him to let me cum. (Of course, this is usually his plan anyway, to get me to beg. 
) Once he actually let me, it was one of the strongest orgasms that I’ve had in a while. I’m incredible vocal as it is, (and in all honesty, I try my hardest not to be. I try not to make hardly any noise at all, but most of the time I can’t even help it), but last night I probably woke up everyone in the bloody apartment building. Oops. 
On a random note: I hate having such a strong gag reflex! It’s been forever that I’ve been trying to suck my master’s cock more often, to tone down the reflex, but I’m really not making a lot of progress. Anyone know how this could be made easier? Please leave a comment and let me know, it would be extremely appreciated!
